We recorded this episode just over 1 week ago. A lot has happened in a week.
The world has swelled into a collective voice and energy for equality highlighting the goal to heal and transcend ingrained racist ideas and calling us all to look deeply to dig up its roots in each of us.
In my experience, this deep personal work is the same process as we dig deep to heal and transcend limiting thoughts in other ways too.
I’ve been doing antiracist work for 4 years. I share that only so that you know my engagement on this subject and caring about this effort is not new in the upswell of the current times and with that you might feel more trust and interest in my sharing.
From the start of this episode I was committed to speaking up and sharing some of the resources that have helped me begin to wake up and heal as a white person.
You may not hear it, but I was terrified.
I was terrified because I’ve F’d it up in the past.
With full positive intention, I spoke up and F’d it up. More than once.
At first this was extremely painful. The more I learned and healed myself, the more I have been able to accept and navigate my F-ups, because each time we do we have the opportunity to reflect, learn more, grow and be better next time.
Much like every long-term healing and growth effort we take on, I’ve learned through my experience in both antiracist work and in every other lane of being human is that we will F up. We will F up, it will be messy and accepting that has been a critical piece in my being able to continue in the work and continue to take action through the fear and discomfort I feel.
I shared publicly very little before this because I was deep in learning and listening. I still am deep in learning and listening. When you listen to this episode, if you are a white person looking to be an ally, I invite you to listen with the knowledge of the fear I was feeling. I say that so if and when you feel it too, you too can breathe and choose to take the action and say what you can when these moments happen in your life.
In NO way do I feel even remotely “good” at being an ally. I still very much feel new in this work and anything but expert.
Stepping into active allyship in my experience has required being brave and being love in the deepest ways we can access.