(FYI, the following is an exercise from the book, The Artist’s Way.  I haven’t finished reading it, but what I have read is inspiring and insightful.  Check it out if you’re hunting your creative mojo…)
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11/15/11
The morning pages in theory are supposed to be hand written.  I’m guessing it’s so you don’t open up your computer and immediately get into work/respond-to-emails/do-anything-but-write-the-morning-pages mode like I just did.  I have a client call at 8am that I need to do things for so I really don’t have a whole lot of time set aside for this exercise, at least not today, as such, I gotta get my hind end over here to Microsoft Word and get a move on.  Sweet.  Here we are.  Microsoft Word.  … Crickets.
No judgement.  That’s what this exercise is about.  It’s about just forcing yourself to write, period.  Get you out of that judgmental, perfectionist state of mind when it comes to content.  For me, that is key.  When I first started writing I was crippled by my own perfectionism.  Cared SO much about every single word, the way it sounded, how long it was, how it tied together… obviously caring is a good thing.. I suppose the kind of caring I’m talking about it over-caring… the kind of caring that instead of propelling us into action, stifles us in inaction.  We want whatever it is that we put out there or decide to do to be just perfect, and since perfection can be an elusive thing sometimes, waiting for it can be a pretty legit roadblock.
I suppose there are arguments either way, that it’s a good thing to put in the effort to get things just right, and I totally buy into that.  If anything, I’m a hard worker.  In fact I thrive on challenges.  I like going huge, and being more hard core than most other people.  I don’t know why, but that sort of thing just makes me feel good.  Feel happy. Feel like I’m busting new ground, making an impact, and making a contribution.  Since getting sh*t done, impacting the world, and making a contribution are how I roll and what I’m about at my core, I’d say that getting over my stunting perfectionism is a pretty priority task.  Yeah… I mean, think about it… I say I want to write a book, keep my blog fresh and new with regular content, and here I have worries hiding underneath that if I post something not “perfect,” my blog will fail, I’ll never write a book, all my clients will leave me, I’ll be destitute, and so on.  Sh*t, if all that were true, it makes complete sense why I’d be so attached to perfection.  I suppose the thing ultimately is this… sh*t, I don’t know…. Sounded like I knew, huh?
Hahaha… of course perfection is all in the eye of the beholder.. I look around and see value and beauty in sooooooooo many things that in theory are not perfect.  When I had to ride my bike home in the rain the other night… I’d guess many people upon hearing that story would say something like, “Oh man, that sucks,” when the truth is, I totally dug it.  It felt real and fun and out of the ordinary and freeing because it was out of my control.  I suppose that IS what it’s about… if I’m a chaser of freedom (and believe me, I am), I gotta give myself that in my writing.  I gotta let myself just go sometimes.  Sure, sometimes I’ll write a bullet-pointed list of helpful tips to do this that or the other, but sometimes I’m just gonna go.  I’m gonna let myself just go.
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(This was my first effort to write just whatever came up in my brain, and as such, I’m going to just take the courageous leap and post this sucker. Hahaha, awesome! That feels scary and fun, and I’m in.  Funny to me that what came up was an insightful conversation with myself, and not me rambling for two pages about the lint collector in my sweet dryer.  Maybe that’s for tomorrow… heh… Thank you as always for reading, everyone!!  Thoughts? 🙂 )