» By Melanie Curtis on February 19, 2015
So in Santorini 1, we talked about the specific perspective that we never “miss” anything, but instead only ever take other opportunities also available to us. Aka, we’re literally always winning. Check.
This post isn’t to reiterate that specific perspective, but rather to talk about the skill set of perspective in a broader sense… to point to HOW we all can use it in any situation, how we can use it to tackle any negative internal influence, not just the ones that fall into the Fear-of-missing-out category.
I could easily have spent those 18 days in Santorini worrying and judging myself that I wasn’t doing all the things I could be doing. But I didn’t. I was called to do “nothing” and I honored that guilt-free.
How did I shift my perspective and free myself from those negative thoughts and feelings?
Where I think people get lost on this one, is that they don’t realize that shifting our perspective actually is more than one step.
Stay with me…
In order to shift our perspective in a way that’s actually going to WORK…
1. We must first see the negative thought(s).
Only then can we decide on the new thought that will actually make an impact.
For instance… in Santorini, the negative thoughts that kept wanting to come up in me, that kept trying to steal my peace were a combination of the following:
“I should be doing more.” (Self-judgment)
“I am letting the opportunities to experience this place pass me by.” (Negative perspective)
“I’m going to regret not doing anything after I leave.” (Fear)
Only in actively and consciously seeking to see these thoughts could I see them. Otherwise our negative thoughts hide. They are sneaky little bastards. We must look for them to find them.
Once we know them, we are in control.
Once we see what’s driving our emotions, we have the power.
Once we know our negative thoughts, we can replace them with perspectives that serve us.
Cool… How do we do that??
2a. Reframe each negative perspective into a positive one.
2b. You must believe the new perspective in order for it to work.
If you don’t believe it, you will feel no release from the painful negative perspective.
If you DO believe it, you will feel the negative energy diffuse and positive energy flow in.
Using my example above, my new perspectives looked like this:
“I am taking advantage of the opportunity I have to do nothing.”
“Getting the experience and practice of honoring what I need is hugely valuable.”
“Everything that happens has positive value. Everything. There is literally nothing to regret ever.”
3. Continually remind yourself of your chosen positive perspective.
As we mentioned, the negative thoughts are sneaky bastards that will slip right back into our emotional driver’s seat if we’re not vigilant. Consciously, actively, deliberately remind yourself of your positive, supportive perspective. The more you do, the more it will grow and take root in you. The more it will become your default. The more the negative thoughts will be relegated to being a barely audible back-seat driver you can’t really hear over the badass tunes you’re now rockin’ out to.
We all have the power to drive our own lives. To choose our own perspectives. To be happier despite any experience of the contrary. We can do this now, ongoing, and for life.
Any questions, please hit me up anytime.
You guys f*ckin rock.
XO Mel 🙂
*NOTE: I absolutely am taking new clients while living abroad… so if you’re wanting to make some change for yourself, or just try coaching with me out to see what it’s like and what it can do for you… drop me a line, and we’ll talk. 🙂
“If you’re feeling stuck, this is the kickstart. One 1-hour call to see what this whole coaching thing is all about. Try it on for size, see if it’s for you, see if we’re a good fit, and a lot of new ideas to get you going. Either way, you will leave this call with achievable goals for the week, and a plan of attack to get you started on whatever it is you want to do. With the Sample Session, you get unlimited email with me for the week too, where we can continue our conversation, and keep you accountable to following through on making inspired changes. Everything is possible, and this is where we start.”
~Melanie Curtis, CPC, ELI-MP
Purchase your session, and Mel will email you directly to schedule:
Or simply email Mel@highcomms.com and we can pay and schedule that way! 🙂